Unexpected Loss

Reblogged from Sacred Cynicism by Pastor Doug Ward

I met someone for the first time 2 weeks ago. He came to church, and then was here again last week. He was a nice man, and he greeted me warmly. We had a nice conversation, and I was hoping to see him again this Sunday. I wanted to get to know him a little better. From the limited conversation we had, it seemed that life had been a little rough. That was just a perception. I found out this morning that this man took his own life this morning.

This news is crushing to me. I had no idea he was in any danger. I wish that something I said last week would have steered him away from this decision, but I do not know if that was even possible. I wish there had been more time. There is a sense of loss this morning. It is not a loss based upon a past relationship, I had only just met him. The loss is the removal of what could have been. Conversations that could have happened. The news once again reminded me of a simple truth – we have no idea which people are holding on to their very last bit of rope. I think this is a good thing for each of us to remember. It would be a great thing if our culture remembered it as well. We are probably too busy yelling at each other to listen to any wisdom right now.

This gentleman told me he had been watching us online. He told me he was hearing things that helped him. I wish I had the chance to follow up with him. I wish I knew more about his story than I do. Here are some things I do know. I know that I have no idea of the pain that this man was experiencing. I have no idea what things he was battling. I also know that Jesus died for everyone, including this gentleman, and I know that grace is far more pervasive that I realize. I do not know how grace, this gentleman, and the resurrection all interacted these past few weeks. I will simply say I hope.

In this current climate when we once again have retreated to our positions to lob verbal grenades at those people over there, a host of people just like this gentleman walk past us. They are probably unconcerned with all of the shouting – they just know that they hurt. This gentleman, and countless others – need someone to notice, if only we would stop shouting, and posting to social media. I just know that I am diminished today by this news. His name was Don.

From Barb: The man he is talking about has been my friend & neighbor for 18 years. I am still in shock but I have hope that when Don breathed his last breathe, Jesus was waiting for him with open arms.


  1. So sorry to hear about this Barb ๐Ÿ’™. This made me think about those who cross our path and we do not necessarily follow through with them. May we be more sensitive to reach out.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. this is heartbreaking to read because three days ago I found out a young women I have know for years took her life. It’s fills my every thing I do, the sadness, the harshness, the shock . Most of the time we cannot know when that kind of mindset has set in and stays till they act upon it. I do not believe anyone whould be defined by that last act of their life. So sorry

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It is very sad to even hear about it. I dont know what to say Barbara…
    Out here in India a young Bollywood actor, a hero actually, committed suicide yesterday. No letter, no note. He had success etc. In fact it is so ironical, last year he did a film that spoke about hope and against suicidal thoughts.
    In fact we may be standing near or even living with someone who has such tendencies and not have the faintest clue….like mother Teresa said….the world is suffering from a more severe kind of poverty… love. I guess this is why we are called to be the light and reflect Christ’s love with His grace. Many times I forget this and get into my usual selfish-mode.
    I dont know Barbara……its just very sadโ˜น

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I feel heartbroken.

    This reminds me of a month ago, my uncle who chats alot on whatsApp sent me a message but because I didn’t want to have an extended chat at that time, I assumed him but all He wanted was from me was to confess His sins to me so that I lead Him to Christ.

    Anyway, my cousin had a chat with him and led Him to Christ and He died the same week.

    His lungs were completely rotten.I didn’t know.

    I was too busy for Him.

    May we learn to provide a listening ear.

    The person you are ignoring could be one minute away to His eternity.

    The word of God in your tongue can changer their destiny.

    God bless you Barb

    Rest in Peace Don!

    Rest in Peace Uncle Jay!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. What a wake-up call! I have been so distracted and drained by all the venom and hostility on social media and the news. But all that is a smoke screen from the enemy, hiding the life and death issues right in front of us. God help us.
    May I repost this?

    Liked by 2 people

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