My Life in Our Father's World

Understanding Tattling as Bullying: A Biblical Perspective

Several thoughts occurred to me as I was talking with some of my students about tattling the other day.

First, childhood tattling is the precursor to adult gossip. Think of it this way. Tattling stems from a child’s perception of a perceived slight to themselves or another person. This process is not dissimilar to how many adults handle these same feelings.

I looked into what God’s word has to say about tattling and gossip:

Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. – 1 Timothy 5:13 NIV

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much. – Proverbs 20:19 NIV

If you take your neighbor to court do not betray another’s confidence, or the one who hears it may shame you and the charge against you will stand. – Proverbs 25:9-10

They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, – Romans 1:29 NIV

For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. – 2 Corinthians 12:20 NIV

We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. – 2 Thessalonians 3:11 – NIV

Tattling is not a minor issue. Adults, whether parents, coaches, or educators, need to do everything within their power to discourage it. We must break the cycle before it evolves into full-fledged gossip.

The second thing I realized is that tattling and gossip are forms of bullying. Frankly, bullies invoke anger in me quicker than any other behavior. I am not proud of this; I am merely seeking transparency. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, not just the biggest kid on the playground who steals everyone’s lunch money.

By definition, a bully is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable. Furthermore, bullies have been known to cause others to do something by employing force or coercion. By tattling (or gossiping), humans attempt to impose their agenda on others. This practice includes intimidation, telling falsehoods, and physical threats.

Now comes the tricky part. God’s word teaches us to treat others well regardless of how they treat us (or those we love).

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, – Matthew 5:44 NIV

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. – Matthew 5:9 NIV

bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. – Luke 6:28 NIV

So, dear reader, I implore you to take Philippians 4:8 to heart and remember, “…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” This means we must strive to avoid any thoughts, words, or behaviors that could be harmful to others. If there are children in your life, you are called to “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it”. (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)

17 comments

  2. What about this “see something, say something“? I was always taught to mind my own business, but now it seems we need to speak up to keep someone from harming another.

    I just learned today that one of our 8 year old twin granddaughters is being bullied. She almost didn’t want to tell me.

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  4. Good discussion. There is a fine line on tattling for children. We don’t want to encourage it, but on the other hand, children trust adults to take care of situations that they are not able to handle. We need to pray for Godly wisdom when a child shares something painful to them.

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  6. […] 1. Understanding Tattling as Bullying: A Biblical Perspective – This post is a perfect example of how I  “Write what God tells me to write, when He tells me to write it.”  The words of the post were in my head as I was talking with my class and refused to be ignored until I put them “on paper” and clicked PUBLISH. Once God gives me insight like this, I often wonder why it took me so long to see the truth. I am reminded that God’s timing is perfect, and therefore, the timing of the lesson is also perfect. […]

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  7. Unfortunately, I cannot agree w/ your conclusion. The strong prohibition against tattling keeps many children from reporting bullying and even threats of violence to authorities in a timely fashion. The victimization simply continues.

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